Judy Halebsky
All She Did Was __________ My Hand
Or The Thermodynamics of Unfinished Love Poems
after Dean Rader
Between her milk skin and the way the air splits
between her pursed lips and a June blue dusk
she wants ground rules
count: beer settles to the temperature of air
count: energy can change forms
count: you, milk skin, meet me on the roof
1. between the two of us energy is neither created nor spent
unless of course gravity can take down bridges
dissemble kitchens
my other half at a bus stop in Nebraska
traveling east then north
note: add something in here about monogamy and what is does to us
2. I confuse inertia with entropy, but thank God for the internet
inertia – resistance to change
entropy – resistance to spiritual change
note: this statement has not been peer reviewed
or disambiguated
entropy – heat moves into colder spaces, we call this chaos
it's happening all the time
she wants ground rules
which involves talking
which is something I was hoping to avoid
I call her voice mail and ask: who is Hegel?
she says, A = A
an affair needs this kind of mystery
we climb the metal ladder
up onto the flat roof of the gym
I put her cold hands under my shirt
count: 13 as lucky, 7 as something else
she says, it takes energy to break the rules
count: stop talking
count: milk skin, dumpling hips, attic room
count: the spaces
3. when her chilled hands touch me
it's not the cold coming into my body that I feel
it's the heat leaving
Motel 6
Basho left Edo walking
a monk came to California
to give a talk and someone asked him, where do you live?
he said motel 6
he meant, motel 6
he said haiku isn't 5-7-5
it's two images that crash together
to make a third
trying not to keep layers between him and the wind
he slept at the side of the road
***
Basho wrote haiku at parties to the host to say thank you
to say goodbye (my mom believes in education
as a kind of religion (so I had to keep going to school
(even though I've told her it's a big waste of my time)))
we had a valentine's day reading where the theme was bitterness we
read Margaret Atwood's poem, you fit into me which is kind of like a
haiku except it has a first person and third person which
people say there isn't in haiku like a hook into an eye but
that's kind of misleading in Japanese the I-s and You-s are implied
which is different than absent a fish book an open eye
***
when the monk said motel 6
he meant motel 6
he meant under the branches of a tree
along the side of the road
he meant night is only so long
he meant start at zero
he meant now
he meant we rest where we can
Sitting Beside Adrienne Rich at the Yehuda Amichai Reading, Berkeley 1998
I remember the years without poems
silenced by marriage
that you swam back from
some wreck, some daughter-in-law
the poems dense and tightly sealed
at twenty-two, I could barely open them
***
on the way to the reading
Chana's talking about Amichai's next book
he won't let it out of his hands she says
it's as if he thinks it's his last
Amichai reading in Hebrew
Chana reading her translation
white underwear
hanging on a clothesline
under the blue Jerusalem sky
a man asks Chana,
but the blue and the white, like the flag of Israel
where, where's that image?
she holds up her hands
widening the space of nothing but air
between her fingers and her palms
as if to say this is how much we hold
***
I sat beside you that night
hearing the same poems
breathing the same air
I introduced myself to you
as if to a stranger
as if we had never met
they say in a wreck we don't know which way to swim
they say to follow air bubbles to the surface
I was not cutting cake in a white dress
I was not kept in any house or any room
shoes, eyeliner, the hold of his hands
the hull of a sunken ship, the metal cask, the vining sea kelp
we breathe oxygen at any depth
we must come up in stages so our bodies can reorient
all this takes time, years
the skin on my hands ages
anchor, seaweed, north wind
I list with the current
it was his last book
I only thought the woman beside me was Adrienne Rich
I shook her hand and she was flattered
she liked the idea
Judy Halebsky received the 2011 Sixteen Rivers Press Poets-Under-Forty Chapbook Contest for Space/Gap/Interval/Distance. Her book of poems, Sky=Empty, won the New Issues Poetry Prize and was a finalist for the California Book Award. Her new collection is forthcoming from New Issues Press in 2014. Born and raised in Nova Scotia, Canada, she studied art and literature in Japan for years on fellowships from the Japanese Ministry of Culture. With a collective of Tokyo poets, she edits and translates the bilingual poetry journal Eki Mae. She lives in San Francisco and teaches at Dominican University of California.